When North Korea's "Dear Leader" Kim Jong-il gave control of the State Security Department to his youngest son, Kim Jong-un, just a few weeks ago, Korea-watchers more or less unanimously agreed that the succession of leadership in the DPRK had been decided.
This could be very good news, but...
Nobody really has the least idea, because the sort of reporters who would have the sort of contacts to develop a story about the personality of Kim Jong-un no longer exist, and our own "intelligence" apparatus is staffed by clowns in white socks who can barely make contact with a wall, if they lower their pointy little heads and run at it from a distance of three feet.
Like so many other sons and daughters of kings, billionaires, and dictators, Kim Jong-un attended the International School of Berne in Switzerland, which currently accepts children as young as 3 years old and shepherds them through all three stages of the International Baccalaureate.
Next stop, Harvard or Pyongyang.
Dozens of kids will have interacted or roomed with Kim Jong-un at ISBerne, and since gossip is even more popular than polo among the hobbies of the ultra-rich, there's significant and theoretically accessible info embedded somewhere in all those royal brains, but we won't get at it, because the profession of "society reporter" now belongs to ten thousand freaky little bloggers, and none of them knows anybody.
So we're left with incomprehensible sources, like Kenji Fujimoto, an ex-cook in the Kim Jong household...
(Kim Jong-un) has superb physical gifts, is a big drinker and never admits defeat.
This makes him sound like a head-banging soccer-yob from Belfast, or... what? Some kind of muscle-bound meatball, eager to hurl every missile in his father's tiny arsenal at Honolulu, Seoul, and Seattle, until the entire Pacific Rim has been incinerated.
"We're winning! Pass the booze, and let's shoot some hoops!"
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