| Jump right into something that sounds like what people on the blog talk about a lot. Write about that for a couple of paragraphs. Then attack it for about a sentence or two. Skip to the extended text then.
Then, go find some really wonderful offbeat YouTubes you've been keeping handy. Really offbeat stuff. It should be really creative but somewhat offensive, and also kind of funny.
Then continue to discuss, but totally change the subject. Rant to some extent. Describe general types of people on the blog who routinely drive you up the fucking wall. Plead to them to relieve you from your torment. Do not name any names. Make up weird names that are vaguely suggestive of the people you are angry at.
Talk about how much it pains you to write this essay. Then point out that you're really hoping that many will suffer greatly as they begin to understand how evil it was of them to give you such pain.
Find some really weird photos on Photoshop. Post them. Include captions (I've heard you can do that using table macros). Say very cold hostile things.
End up with a lift of humor. Go get some of those really weird anarchist madman quotes you've been saving - just a few, the really scary ones. Put them in Gothic fonts, stuff like that. Post them at the end. Last line is "We Will Not Forget."
Then you post the tip jar. The tip jar will be very long, and it will include all sorts of occluded hints about your next avatar name and intentions.
Have fun! You know I love you all. I'm only trying to help. We all know that troll diaries are a part of life. Since that's the case, why not get together and turn this into a real art form?
You can do it!
Miep |
