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How Old Are You People?

by: please donate

Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 00:30:56 AM EDT


KENSINGTON, MD-Local teens James Ripley, 17, and David Ripley, 14, expressed surprise today when their mother, 47-year-old Cynthia Ripley legitimately made them laugh on several occasions within a 24-hour span. "I didn't know Mom could be funny." said James, who described his mother's usual attempts at humor as "not funny." "When she was on the phone with Aunt Linda [Generro], she was making all these hilarious 'I'm crazy' faces, and when Dad dropped the remote she was like 'smooth move, George Clooney.' She was really funny." The matriarch's comedic run will reportedly end during dinner, when she picks up the salad tongs and pretends to play them like a guitar.

The Onion
please donate :: How Old Are You People?
Really. I read about college, video games. I remember pong being the most amazing thing I had ever seen.

I played on a Commodore 64.
I had a black and white TV.

I am older than David and James mom.

How the hell old are you?

Poll
How the hell old are you?
0-25
25-35
35-45
45-55
SS baby
mom's basement baby
cake
Keg

Results

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Am I the oldest one here? (0.00 / 0)
I feel so, um, aged.

I think Ormond Otvos probably wins that prize (4.00 / 2)
though he hasn't been around in a bit.

"Man you terrorist supporters sure do grab for anything."
- theravenseldon


[ Parent ]
I'm thirty-five. (0.00 / 0)
If I live to be seventy, I'm already middle-aged as my life would be half over.  If I live to be eighty, forty will be my "middle" age.



Since a Gypsy Tarot reader told me I'd live until 120, I'm (5.33 / 3)
pleasantly middled-aged now. Seriously, I was ten when she told me this. I remember racing to my room and calculated how long I had left...in days, hours and seconds, I thought I was immortal then!

[ Parent ]
Any 10 year old who hangs (5.00 / 2)
with gypsy tarot readers is cool by me.

[ Parent ]
I am 46 years old (5.50 / 2)
Them used to seem so old.

Cheers!

Dude! (5.50 / 2)
I am right there with you. 46.

"It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious."~Bill Hicks

[ Parent ]
Uh... I just noticed something... (5.33 / 3)
This Fight Club seems to be full of "old" persons.

Yet the tone and feel of this site is youthful.

Is this our Fountain of Youth?

Oh, that is right... I am beginning to notice that my hair is not showing some grey anymore. Heck, I had to pop a pimple this morning - a honking big pimple not seen since high school.

Way to go, Jack - for this fabled Fountain of Youth. Thanks!

‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›


Proven fact (5.75 / 4)
All who post here already have or will eventually regress and transmogrify into 12 year old boys with punk geek tendencies. Except for Otvos, who is immune, and will forever scream at us to stay off his virtual lawn.  

[ Parent ]
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