FSZ - Free Speech Zone Blog - freespeechzoneblog.com

An Emergency Fix for Nuclear North Korea

by: Jacob Freeze

Tue Jun 30, 2009 at 05:09:48 AM EDT


When North Korea's "Dear Leader" Kim Jong-il gave control of the State Security Department to his youngest son, Kim Jong-un, just a few weeks ago, Korea-watchers more or less unanimously agreed that the succession of leadership in the DPRK had been decided.

This could be very good news, but...

Nobody really has the least idea, because the sort of reporters who would have the sort of contacts to develop a story about the personality of Kim Jong-un no longer exist, and our own "intelligence" apparatus is staffed by clowns in white socks who can barely make contact with a wall, if they lower their pointy little heads and run at it from a distance of three feet.

Like so many other sons and daughters of kings, billionaires, and dictators, Kim Jong-un attended the International School of Berne in Switzerland, which currently accepts children as young as 3 years old and shepherds them through all three stages of the International Baccalaureate.

Next stop, Harvard or Pyongyang.

Dozens of kids will have interacted or roomed with Kim Jong-un at ISBerne, and since gossip is even more popular than polo among the hobbies of the ultra-rich, there's significant and theoretically accessible info embedded somewhere in all those royal brains, but we won't get at it, because the profession of "society reporter" now belongs to ten thousand freaky little bloggers, and none of them knows anybody.

So we're left with incomprehensible sources, like Kenji Fujimoto, an ex-cook in the Kim Jong household...

(Kim Jong-un) has superb physical gifts, is a big drinker and never admits defeat.

This makes him sound like a head-banging soccer-yob from Belfast, or... what? Some kind of muscle-bound meatball, eager to hurl every missile in his father's tiny arsenal at Honolulu, Seoul, and Seattle, until the entire Pacific Rim has been incinerated.

"We're winning! Pass the booze, and let's shoot some hoops!"

 

Jacob Freeze :: An Emergency Fix for Nuclear North Korea
This is probably the scenario to bet on, if you can find a sucker dumb enough to bet against it, but we may not even get that far, since Kim Jong-il still running the show in North Korea, and that guy is dying fast. The roly-poly dictator of just a few years ago is now a shrunken old man, and isn't he just the kind of megalomaniac to take us all with him, when he goes?

Kim Jong-il has already exploded an atomic bomb as big as the "Little Boy" which destroyed Hiroshima in 1945!  (This was a one-day story in the American press.)

Now Kim Jong-il is threatening to launch a long-range Taepodong-2 missile (which can carry an atomic bomb) at Hawaii next week! (This was a one-day story in the American press.)

What to do? You may be surprised to learn that there's a very simple answer.

North Korea has been offering to scrap its nuclear-weapons program in return for a "non-aggression pact" ever since 2003, but the brain-dead morons who ruled American foreign policy from 2003 to 2008 were too absurdly stupid to accept this beautiful deal, and now Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are still too absurdly stupid to give a half-crazy, dying dictator one piece of paper before he launches a long-range missile at Hawaii!

So if you're listening, Hillary and Barry...

Give Kim Jong-il the fucking paper!

And you might as well throw in a little something for the heir-apparent, too, and I may have just the ticket, because our estimable ex-cook and sole source about Kim Jong-un, Kenji Fujimoto claims the kid really loves basketball, plays all the time, and after every game...

Jong-un would then gather up his teammates and, like a coach, analyze the game they just played: "You should have passed the ball to this guy, you should have shot it then."

So invite Kim Jong-un to Washington, put him on a basketball court with Barack Obama, Michael Jordon, and Kobe Bryant, and let him talk about coaching with Phil Jackson, and make him very, very happy, because...

A little basketball and one piece of paper is cheaper than nuclear war.



Tags: , , (All Tags)
Print Friendly View Send As Email
hype city (0.00 / 0)
their rockets don't work, they can't reach Honolulu, they can't make their nukes work in large scale, no way they can get a unit small enough to fit on a small rocket going.  yawm

NOTHING will satisfy the old man Jong-Il.  He's as crazy as our resident CT peddlers.  




Ignorance is bliss... or at least, assholiness. (0.00 / 0)
Maybe UnrealAmerican has "secret sources" which tell him exactly what kind of technology A. Q. Khan peddled to North Korea, and so he knows for sure that the DPRK can't build a nuclear device like the W-19, which weighs 600 pounds and delivers 15-20 Kt, about the same boom as the 8,900 pound bomb that destroyed Hiroshima.

Or maybe UnrealAmerican is just a chump who doesn't know shit about nuclear weapons, or North Korea, or the "absolute" range of ICBM's like the  Taepodong-2.


[ Parent ]
Rah (0.00 / 0)
I note that their nuke test failed.  Their last multi stage rocket test failed.

And even if he's crazy, you have to assume he doesn't understand we'd turn him and his country into a sea of glass if he sent a nuke our way.

be scared if you want.  it's a free country

but why is it the looney left believe all hype from NK but think anything a western govt says is a lie?




[ Parent ]
More lies from the scumbag UnrealAmerican. (5.00 / 1)
There's nothing in my diary that suggests I believe anything Kim Jong-il ever said, but that doesn't mean I don't take it seriously when he makes nuclear threats.

The idiot boy UnrealAmerican is apparently unaware that there are still about 25,000 American soldiers in South Korea, and most of them are within range of artillery from the North, not to mention short-range missiles.

For example, the W-19 nuclear device which I mentioned in my diary is usually configured to be delivered in an artillery shell, meaning that if Kim built similar devices according to plans obtained from A.Q. Khan, thousands of Americans could disappear in a flash, with no possible defense...

But in order to know that, UnrealAmerican would have had to do a little research, instead of just shooting off his stupid mouth.

Likewise UnrealAmerican's assurance that we can rely on a dying half-crazy dictator like Kim Jong-il to operate within the limits of enlightened self-interest is exactly the kind of "strategic thinking" that I would expect from a pre-teen boy whose only experience of war is playing video games in his mom's basement.

But the US Commander in South Korea isn't quite so certain that North Korea is helpless...

Much of North Korea's vast (1.2 million active-duty) army has fallen into disrepair. It is critically short on spare parts, fuel and training.

But the North still could unleash "lethal, catastrophic destruction'' on South Korea and beyond, and it could do so "with little or no warning,'' U.S. Army Gen. Walter "Skip" Sharp, the top U.S. commander in Korea, said recently.

Standing in the way: 28,500 American troops and 4,000 of their family members stationed in South Korea.

The U.S. eventually would win, of course, with its ability to vector in strike fighters and long-range bombers and to airlift in additional troops. But it could be a bloody and destructive fight that would leave much of the Korean peninsula a smoking ruin, even if the regime in North Korea didn't use its nuclear weapons.

For starters, the North has trained 250 long-range artillery pieces on Seoul, barely 30 miles south of the DMZ. Imagine salvos of artillery shells suddenly crashing into the glass-sheathed skyscrapers of downtown Seoul at rush hour, creating blizzards of lethal shards and firestorms of collapsing buildings.  


The point of my diary, which really wasn't intended for neo-con jerkoffs like UnrealAmerican, is that with a relatively small investment in diplomatic niceties and maybe a little personal attention, we can reduce a real threat to tens of thousands of American soldiers, and other targets like Tokyo.

The ratio of benefit to cost in this instance is so enormous that only a complete moron like UnrealAmerican or his hero George W. Bush could fail to see it.


[ Parent ]
those points were valid (0.00 / 0)
why did you feel the need to add the paranoia/fear/hype thing?  That's the Neocon's play.




[ Parent ]
Look at your first comment. (0.00 / 0)
"hype city"

You totally blow off my whole diary in 3 lines, and "yawm."

What kind of response did you expect?


[ Parent ]
honest one? (0.00 / 0)
I reacted to the parts I didn't agree with and that I felt cheapened what could have been a decent effort.  




[ Parent ]
Right. (0.00 / 0)
"hype city"

What a brilliant example of focused, fact-based criticism!


[ Parent ]
When you throw a rock at at pack of dogs (0.00 / 0)
its the one that you hit that barks.

Using the fear card "the smoking gun will be a mushroom cloud" is bullshit no matter who does it.  Your diary became crap once you stooped to that level of bullshittery.  

If you wanted more focus than 2 words, How about Horseshit?  More letters though.  As for fact based, I'll stand on the facts presented.




[ Parent ]
And what do you have to offer, you fucking moron? (0.00 / 0)
Kim Jong-il can hit about 25,000 American soldiers with nuclear weapons, and that's 100% certain.

He has well-functioning short-range missiles. Nobody denies it.

Kim Jong-il has functional nuclear weapons. Nobody denies it.

And yet the asshole UnrealAmerican compares Kim Jong-il to Saddam and Bush's fear-mongering, because...

UnrealAmerican is too fucking stupid to understand the difference between real nuclear weapons which have been tested in North Korea, and the non-existent nukes in Bush's rhetoric.

I'm done with responding to you, you stupid pre-teen jerkoff.


[ Parent ]
If that's all you got keep frothing at the mouth (0.00 / 0)
You sound like condi rice on crack.  Or any of the neocon fear peddlers.

I only wish i was pre-teen.  Closer to SS by a mile.

KJI is like a 12 year old.  He demands respect he doesn't deserve so he waves a saber.  Much like Bushy.  Your prescription for dealing with him is correct.  Your use of fear mongering and your general hypberbolic approach to most everything undermines your work.

blah blah blah.  yeah I know,  I suck.





[ Parent ]
"I only wish i was pre-teen. Closer to SS by a mile." (0.00 / 0)
So UnrealAmerican is still just a jerkoff after all those years.

And what makes him or her a jerkoff isn't disagreeing with me...

It's the shit-faced bad faith of his or her insubstantial comments.

Look back at the whole list of shit that UnrealAmerican shoved under my diary...

No links.

No arguments, beyond equating concern about a real nuclear lunatic with Bush's rhetoric about non-existent nukes in Iraq.

The mindless old twerp UnrealAmerican obviously has no other intention on a progressive blog like FSZ except to shit on threads and waste the time of people who are actually trying to make some sense of so much chaos.

Fuck off.


[ Parent ]
And now for something completely different... (0.00 / 0)
.

[ Parent ]
keep flapping fuckwit (0.00 / 0)
what is this assigned therapy?

If you spent as much effort on your diary as you did defending the holes in it you might have had something.  Or you could go back to cribbing from Rolling Stone.




[ Parent ]
The problem isn't that he can hit the United States (0.00 / 0)
He can't.

But...

He can kill thousands of our troops if he wants to as they sit on his border.  

I don't see him ever being able to strike the actual states, jesus how much longer til he's dead? Ain't a chance he lives long enough to see that capability.

But if he's as unhinged as made out to be by...um...everybody in the fucking world, there are numerous targets he can hit just fine as a parting gesture.  South Korea, thousands of U.S. troops, Japan, Guam, China.... it all depends on what it is he wants to do.  Is he crazy and hell bent on destroying something?  Hasn't done it yet beyond his own people so there's no evidence to expect that except the caricature of him in the world media (and yeah, it's the world media portraying him as such, not just the U.S. media....newsflash STUPIDDY).

But he ain't hitting Hawaii and I actually have my doubts as to whether he would even attempt that if he had the capability unless he was already on his deathbed.

"Man you terrorist supporters sure do grab for anything."
- theravenseldon


[ Parent ]
that also assumes (4.00 / 1)
his generals will carry out the order instead of putting a bullet in him.  maybe they like their kids/grandkids/wives/friends.




[ Parent ]
Who is Kim Jong Il? (3.00 / 2)
The picture of Kim Jong Il is not clear to me at all...

All I know is what liars are saying about him.

Stu Piddy...a Free Range Human


yeah just that (3.00 / 1)
and a few million dead north koreans.

Scott Brown is my kind of a Republican

[ Parent ]
they're commies though (5.00 / 1)
so shouldn't you be celebrating that fact?

It's so hard to follow republogic.




[ Parent ]
Menu

Make a New Account

Speaker:

Assword:



Forget your username or password?




Photobucket


Search




Advanced Search


Blogroll

American Pirate
My Left Wing
Progressive Independence
European Tribune
Boing Boing
Pffugee Camp
Talking Points Memo
CEPHALOBLOG
Booman Tribune
Underwater Deli
Raw Story
Brad Blog
Bailout Sleuth
Zero Paid
Wiki Leaks
Rebel Reports
Taibblog
Metafilter
Zero Hedge
TorrentFreak
Craphound
Adbusters
TED
Lifehacker

Open Education
-Connexions
-The Library
Useful Resources
-Open Secrets
-Project Vote Smart
-FactCheck
-LegiStorm
-Open Congress
-Current Legislation
-Corporate Escort Service

Fuck The Banks
-Bank Of America Sux
-Move Your Money
-Goldman Sachs Sucks

Other Useful Resources
-4chan
-Adbusters
-Something Awful
-Maddox
-eBaum's World
-Newgrounds

Support Open Source
-Open Source Initiative
-Source Forge
-Open Source Mac
-Center For Democracy & Technology
-Open Internet

Tools For The People's Bailout
-uTorrent
-Rocket Torrents
-FrostWire
-Download From YouTube (Mozilla Firefox Add-on)

Thieves and Beggars
-isoHunt
-Hexagon
-The Pirate Bay
-h33t
-TorrentBox


FSZ - Free Speech Zone - www.freespeechzoneblog.com

All data and information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. Free Speech Zone makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. All information is provided on an as-is basis by individual diarists, independent journalists, and the views herein are those of the individual authors and do not reflect the views or opinions of the people who run this site. Free Speech Zone is a "common carrier" and the views presented herein are in no way endorsed, condoned, or representative of Free Speech Zone, its owners, or management.

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

-First Amendment to the United States Constitution


Powered by: SoapBlox