| The preferred method of cranial protection, of course, is what we professionals refer to as the "sombrero."
As you can see, this person has wisely covered their entire cranium, while maintaining adequate ventilation, and supplemented these measures with a plastic sheathing, for anonymity purposes. We'll get to that more in a moment.
What you cannot see from that particular image are two items that often go overlooked, but which are essential in preventing unwelcome alien interactions.
Pubo-anal thong protection, thus:
and boobal bustiere protection, thus:
So, remember: to adequately protect yourself from unwelcome alien attention, you must include the foil sombrero, pubo-anal thong, and boobal bustiere protection in your wardrobe.
Now, more about anonymity measures. It is painfully obvious that the person who suggested brown bags and cardboard was a rank amateur. What you really need is black garbage bags to protect your anonymity and online safety. Paper bags and cardboard are both far too permeable and expose you to unimaginable dangers!
As you can see, this woman neglected to secure her sombrero with tin foil and one of her arms has fallen off as a consequence. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!
If you would like more information about proper helmet techniques, which should only be used when sombreros are unavailable, you may wish to visit STOP ALIEN ABDUCTIONS, as seen below.
/Blog Performance Art |
